The Six Things They Say To Your Face Because You Are A METALHEAD

The psychology of metal since time immemorial metal music has been vilified as the work of Satan ( lol) that promotes anti-social behavior, perversion, drug abuse and rebellion among the youth and its listeners! hahaha! let me sip some vodka as i meditate on works of flesh – hex of departure.

When it comes to the most divine taste in music, that takes into account the instrumentation, vocal techniques, drum engineering and general mood fuckery, ladies and gentlemen I introduce you to metal. sit back as we take you through the darkest apocalypse that debunks all known ( and unknown) myths that plague this beautiful genre and vibrant sub culture.

  1. YOU ARE A DEVIL WORSHIPER (You Probably Sacrifice Children Too). Yes, this is the most famous myth in the history of metal *politicians are the reflection of society and I am not surprised. Being the most extreme form of music, it is expected that the simpletons of society who are the majority must criticize what they do not understand. There are bands which are deeply entrenched in the dark arts for shock-value purposes but so are some rappers, pastors and your ex-girlfriend. It is curious that the devil has been a popular tool for religious corporations (because that is what they really are, corporations, evading tax and getting people killed) to draw tithe payers to their halls. The devil has been an obsession of mainstream culture since the beginning of time. The devil has been the single person most responsible for entrenching Christianity and other eastern religions. The threat of hell fire and damnation of the soul are effective motivators for people to forsake liberty and give their rational faculties to god, or the next best thing, the clergy man. Without the devil, God would have no purpose, they are different degrees of the same thing. Just as the different poles of a magnet. Since this human obsession with the devil/devil worship has been an established practice time out of mind, it isn’t fair that people should be restrained from using it in expressing their art.
  2. YOU HAVE ANGER ISSUES. Mainstream society has always gawked at the open and unapologetic displays of violence. It is an affront to religious leaders, politicians, the media and civil society for especially young people to display an open defiance to cultural norms. This banner of protest is a quality that extreme music has worn like a badge. However people have taken the easy root and diagnosed the symptom of defiance and aggression as one caused by listening to heavy metal. At this point I am not surprised by this escapist ideology. It is human nature to point to outside forces as the root of our problems. The psyche of society in the fear of unravelling the long established order that gives them false comfort, attributes its sickness to the easy targets. People will most often treat the symptoms, while ignoring the true cause of the rot. We are afraid of the real diagnosis. The symptoms occasioned by the so called violent forms of self-expression, defiance and anti-establishment sentiments are but a symbol of the metal-head reflecting upon the society he lives in. in Death Metal, musicians do not propagate the calls for animosity and carnage, but they reflect upon the centuries that humanity has basked in attrition, abhorrent crimes of passion and annihilation. The difference is that back then very few people glorified violence. They went ahead and annihilated men on the battle field, pulled unborn children from their mother’s wombs and razed whole cities to the ground. Then they went back and salved their sullied hands in religion, saying it was a holy war. Since humanity has been causing havoc on the planet and washing it away in the halls of churches and mosques, it is now affronted by a breed of people that doesn’t baulk at our true nature.that says it like it is.
  3. YOU ARE NOT VERY CLEVER, WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD ENJOY THAT NOISE??. Normal people wonder in awe at how we can understand what Douglas kihoro says in “tri-infestation” or what the hell does david mburu screams in ” how to kill a dare-devil”. ( lights cuban cigar), you my friend, needs some education. metal heads are freaking geeks ( okay, maybe not all of them) who are so elitist in their taste that they spend hours and days sifting through their favourite bands, from the guitar work to album artwork, its fucking poetry esse!! Ever heard of a genre with so much dynamic diversity? From black metal, death, doom, deathcore, metalcore, thrash, stoner metal, dsbm, technical, melodic, avant garde, psychedelic, math, grind, pornogrind, etc, the list is endless. metalheads arent dumb, its the guys that think they are that are dumb. In my estimation music doesn’t create slow minded people. it only attracts and brings out what is already there beneath the skin. Metalheads to be particular have a very strong appreciation of the music they listen to, something I wouldn’t say of people predisposed to pop-music. we are to a large degree more tolerant and open minded to other people’s taste in music. the tragedy of pop music where only vocalists are appreciated is alien to heavy metal. we pay homage not only to bassists and other guitarists, but to drummers and other instrumentalists, illustrators, sound engineers, producers, marketing teams and even record labels because unlike the kid who has everything fed to them, we don’t think milk comes from a bottle. we know that there is a cow that has to be fed on grass and tended to by crews of professionals, milked and that milk has to go through a rigorous process of production and packaging before the milkman brings us to our doorstep. pretty sophisticated for a person who only listens to noise.
  1. YOU HAVE DRUG PROBLEMS. This one is probably true. we do love getting fucked up and having a good time, it helps to destroy the braincells and restore new ones, but if superman is good at flying, does that mean he has flying problem? But the person telling you this is no exception. the difference is they only take drugs like alcohol and tea that the church and state have sanctioned. I hate tea!
  1. YOU ARE ANTI-SOCIAL AND A SNOB. yeah man, this is outsider music, we are in the circle that has no circumfrence, due to the rarity of fellow metalheads when we find someone thats into “abonimable putridity” we are so psyched. its one metalhead per 1000 posers, see those odds? thats why we value our community, its family, the only one we’ve got. walk outside and ever tom, dick and harry listens to that mainstream shit thats peddle around by corporations, underground music has soul, it doesnt have those ulterior motives that fuck up the art, yeah we are snobs, but once inside the circle its family. metal mafia shit.
  2. YOU HAVE NO FASHION SENSE. whats screams fashion sense than an aphasia t-shirt? or spiked boots and leather jackets? fuck right homie!! we delight in our band shirts and collect them over the years, the artwork and messages on the shirts speak for themselves, at least we arent in those dyed out garments the masses wear, we honestly aren’t interested in fitting in.

By Martin Kanja

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