Safe Spaces

My Half Life

Theres this fault about me. I tend to hold back what I feel. Especially if they are feelings of sadness, or despair. I excel in portraying happiness. I excel in showing people what they expect of me. “Oh Antonio? He looks happy. He’s laughing and everything. I’m sure he is okay!” But then, I’m I though? The thing about depression, which I learnt this year, is that the longer you ignore it, the longer it creates the pit in which darkness continues to fill. And boy, did I Ignore it. I bottled it up, which led me to display this other fake personality of happiness, whenever I was out with other humans. They want to see me happy, so I have to portray that. Unfortunately, that made me suffer more inside. Because depression and darkness builds up, thus when you are with other humans, you have this shield, this umbrella…

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